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Sunday 10th January

More great ideas are coming to me for growing my business, it feels exciting and scary all at the same time.

I’ve had my moments when the fear has really kicked in, its felt like this is a stupid idea and it all looks way too difficult.

Fear

I remember one of my mentors telling me that when he was building his business in the moments it felt right and like it was going to work he was inspired and it was great, in the moments when it felt like he had taken a huge risk and it was all going to go horribly wrong he felt sick to his stomach and wished he could run away.

To be in either of these feeling states, nothing, and I really mean absolutely nothing was any different in the outside world. Because we feel what we think and then live in the feeling of that thinking we are always up against our own mind and nothing more.

Both fear and bravery are products of the mind, and don’t have anything to do with what’s going on in the outside world.

Learning

I have a young lady who I am teaching to sew. She is making a dress for her prom. There are parts of this dress that are quite difficult to do, and every time she gets to a tricky bit she pulls back from the machine and moans “I really can’t do this”

I give her a minute, then ask her if she really wants the dress, and to have made it herself. She does.

So we take a breath and look at what she wants to achieve, and then do it really slowly, as her mind calms down again, she starts to see its possible.

Then she is thrilled that she did it. Sometimes I have to take over and do little bits of it for her, because she hasn’t developed the skill needed quite yet, but if she keeps at it I know she will.

I remember when I was learning to sew, I really wanted to create things, I would see a dress or a top or a skirt, and want to make one just like it for myself.

I would get some material and try.

Over the years I have made some really brilliant things and also some really awful things.

Some things we do work some things we do don’t, that’s all part of life.

But, if we dare, we do get better; we develop the skills we need to create something better more quickly and more easily.

For quite some time I made a living making sweatshirts with applique motifs on the front. When I first started I thought I was quite good at what I was doing, I was pleased with the results, then one day a few years in, my mum said to me “look at this applique you did when you first started, oh my its rubbish next to what you are doing now”

She was right, I had gotten so much better at it and I hadn’t even noticed it happening, for the most part I was just having great fun being creative.

I watch different people learning to sew, some of them really want to do it, they want to be able to go away, and on there own, reproduce the results, or even better results than they had in the classroom. Some of them just want to be told what to do and get an end result, have something they made, but never go away and do it again on their own.

I defiantly wanted to be able to create things on my own with fabric and a sewing machine, and do it well.

Because I wanted it, a lot, I was able to overcome the thinking that would sometimes flood my mind that I wasn’t good enough, I would just find myself back there doing it again. It wasn’t something I was pushing it was something I couldn’t stop myself doing.

 

I made my mum a handbag for Christmas, it was a carpetbag, and it was supposed to have a frame in the top of it to make it work. But I had left it too late to get a frame, without it the bag was useless.

I really wanted to do this, so I decided to find a way to make my own frame. It worked, I was thrilled with the bag and so was my mum.

I’ve done things like that before and it’s not turned out so great, but I love the way my mind can come up with solutions, that seem to come form nowhere. When I’m just in the flow of creation, I can do it, and often extremely well.

And even when I fail, I might abandon the failed project but not the whole game, I always come back to create again, I can’t stop, because when I just relax I will find myself back there, like I’m being lived in that way, it’s not a conscious choice I make.

I guess all that rambling was just my way of saying, I’m watching the creative process that’s happening for me right now, and I’m reflecting on past experiences of creation I’ve had. And there seems to be two things going on in the creation process, inspiration and skill, we need both. I’ve been building skills for quite a while now, and I’m feeling really inspired. When my inspiration is difficult to see, my skills seem useless, when I’m totally inspired I overestimate my skill and create stuff anyway. This is where I see I get better at doing stuff.

So all that occurred to me in the shower this morning, I thought I would share, and now while I’m feeling inspired and thinking I have sufficient skills I’m off to create some content for my membership site.

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