Lulu’s Silent Retreat Musings…..
Its Friday afternoon – The mind wanders constantly trying to guess or anticipate the future/the unknown/the next step. The Silence hasn’t technically started yet, but I find myself scanning the “agenda” – looking for what to fill the quiet spaces with – How about just unfolding and allowing
So conditioned! So habitual. WOW!!!
A Forest Walk
The mind wanders away. Am I safe, I hear it say. In this silence on this day, the mind just wanders away.
Peaceful in nature, I feel…… then thoughts kick in as they do and the mind is off again. The peace has gone. Then panic strikes!! Am I safe in this silence? I’ve lost my way! Late for lunch – I create!
I feel safe, I feel peace, I love this silence. Although the mind never stops. I’m listening. It’s crazy. It’s lovely. It’s happy, then sad. Then – what is next? What’s the time? Where do I need to be! Calm down I hear, it’s all ok. Just be. Who is this mind chattering to me? It’s not even there! All created – momentarily.
The forest, the trees. They just are. Everything left as it is, as it falls. No need for tidying up, or sorting out. Or what is next? There is no next.
Saturday morning – Breakfast – Silent cooking!
Constant – wanting to ask Deb things – the “need” for clarification outside of me.
Why? I have everything I need – I watch my mind, and questions that come up – I watch and see. I’m more than capable of doing what occurs to me in that moment. No need for anything I see how much I don’t believe in myself.
First Session – Silence for 1 hour – sitting together
We are nature
Who is creating this separate self, the mind that wanders? IT’S ALL CREATED!!