TUESDAY 19TH JANUARY
Another roller caster day, It started with me feeling very positive, and excited for the day ahead. Then plunging into doubt and fear, then back up and into full creation mode.
Feeling tired and ready for bed now, but before I do I will share with you what’s going on with me and Heart of life….
I had a really good conversation with a very loyal and dear friend, who was concerned that I wasn’t headed in the right direction with my idea to build a membership website.
It was interesting to me that I was struggling to put into words how I knew this was the right thing for me to do, and I have to admit to feeling a little shaky and frustrated with myself at times. It felt like I was incapable of holding my own, not nice thinking to be feeling!
She made more than one good point about me having to put in a lot of very hard work to pull off what I had promised I would deliver, and questioned me about my money stuff and my feelings of self-value.
But although it was a tough call, I am very grateful to my friend, because it actually did help confirm to me that I know I’m going to do this, and I won’t be giving up any time soon.
It doesn’t feel like I am battling, it feels more like its unfolding, slowly but surely, only time will tell.
The other thing that was clear to me was that in this moment right now anyway, I could choose to feel good if I want to, and I do want to, so that’s the feeling I am heading off to bed in, a good one.
My mind is such a curious place, sometimes I seem to have no choice but to feel the thoughts that are passing through, they are not thoughts I would have chosen and often not what I would want. But they are there, and they dictate what I feel.
Other times, like tonight, my mind seems open enough for me to easily reach down underneath the thinking and feel the love that is always there and just be in a lovely feeling of connection and peace.
I love that I can do that, and I love that I can remember that doing that is something I can do more often that I can’t.
I still have five people signed up for the site, so no progress there.
I do have plans for contacting more people and making them the offer of a full years membership for just £15.00. That still feels good to me and the way forward for now.
I am really making friends with the name of my new venture, and it is growing all the time, playing around with it is bringing forth lots of new ideas, creation is flowing.
Heart of life still seems like the perfect description of what I am doing.
Night night all x