A few days ago I was with a friend of mine.
He was asking my take on why some of his relatives were being so unkind to him.
He doesn’t have a job.
He suffers from anxiety and has found it difficult to go out to work for a while now.
His world is pretty small and he finds it particularly hard when the people he feels should be more understanding and supportive of him are unkind.
I shared this…
I have wondered many times why people aren’t different to the way they are.
So I started with myself, I’ve learned that the answers always lie within…so it felt like a good place to start.
Why aren’t I different to the way I am?
I sometimes do things I would really rather not do.
Why do I do that?
And if I do things I’d rather not do why is it I expect other people to always do what I want them to?
I got interested and curious about this.
I realised that I am up against my own thinking.
I always do what makes sense to me given the thinking I believe to be real and true in any given moment.
I guess that must be true of everyone.
My friend thought about what I had said for a while and then he replied…
‘So in just the same way I want my relatives to be different and understand me, they are wanting me to be different and understand them?
If I find it difficult to go out and get a job because of my thinking, it can’t be easy for them to see me differently with the thinking they have that looks just as real to them as my anxious thinking does to me…
Wow, I never saw it that way before’
We sat for a while.
He then said ‘I feel kind of sorry for them now, not hurt or angry. That changes a lot of things for me’
We are compassion and we are generosity, understanding who we are brings more of our true selves out into the world.
Where are you expecting someone to be different, because you have a good reason to be the way you are and they should know better?
Get interested and curious!