I love keeping up with my own personal growth and learning.
I was asked recently at a training I was on, what I was an ambassador for, what am I passionate about, and what change did I want to make in the world?
Well I knew the answer straight away; I am an ambassador for, and passionate about helping people have happy healthy relationships, and I want to change the way the world views relationships. I am one of the lucky people in the world who are clear on what they want to do and know what they are passionate about so that bit was easy for me.
The next question, generated by my answer, was a great one too
“ Given that, what do you think the world view of relationships is, and what would you like to change it to?”
That got me thinking about what my message is, and how I share it, so I made a few notes and this is what came to me.
I used to believe that other people directly affected how I felt.
That even without my permission or participation, and even when I wanted to feel a different way, that other people had the power to make me feel a certain way, sometimes even a way of their choosing and not mine.
Whether that was happy or sad, a good feeling or a bad one, the way I felt came from, and could be caused by, other people and other things.
I see all around me people who still live with this view of relationships, that other people directly effect them and have a say in how they feel.
And, both with myself and my own family, and now people I work with I see the, sometimes terrible, consequences of this misunderstanding, where real people get hurt and families are destroyed.
This is what I would like to help people to see differently, change the worlds view on, so all this ends and life and love is understood by everyone of us, and this is the understanding we pass onto our children.
I was lucky, I came to realise that it just doesn’t work like that, we aren’t affected by other people, or circumstances, or anything ‘outside’ of us, we are only effected by our own thinking.
In fact our own thinking is the only thing we are wired to feel.
We can have the experience of thinking we are affected by lots of ‘other things’ but that’s just a trick of thought, and we are only experiencing our own thinking, that the thought is true.
The only way to have a great relationship with someone else is through understanding what’s going on for us, and what’s going on for them, and then through this understanding to always stay open to the fact that the only thing affecting our relationship is our own thinking. It all begins with you, you have the power.
When people understand, first themselves and then each other, great connections are always the result, and love increases. It’s just another of life’s amazing miracles.